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DO NOT COPY! I’LL BITE!
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I am a gizmo freak and well if the gizmo keeps me logged on to the net all the time, even when there are horrendous power cuts, it is just the thing for me. For years (actually ever since I got to know about this darling thing) I have been longing for an Iphone.
Sigh!
And what do you know! I finally got it
Thank you Kid#1
Thank you The Secret
Thank you Universe
Thank you Shah Rukh Khan
and
Last but not least : Thank you Vin Diesel (Since I was thanking every one else … )
Flash back to a month back
Kid#1 : Hello Mom, what do you want from Philippines
Me : Nothing beta, yahan sab kuch milta hai
Kid#1 : Are you serious? Look dont ask for booze and dont ask for a male Philipino. Ab what do you want?
Me : Sigh, kuch bhi nahin. Just come back qualified, hale and hearty
( I could have asked for sex toys, could have asked for ~ darn he said no to booze! I could have asked for ~~~ You get the picture)
Kid#1 : Who are you and what have you done to my Mom!
Me : LOL! Yeah I was trying to be sensible and noble
Kid#1 : Aint working
Me : Dont waste too much money! Yeah get me an MP3 player
Kid#1 : You want an Iphone
Me : Nobility gayi tel lene! How much does it cost?
Kid#1 : LOL! Lemme check!
He got a slightly used one at half the price of a new Iphone. We got it customized for India, and that took about a week!
Oh wow! I am over the moon! I can take pics and post em on my blog. I can pester the kids to pose for me forever, photograph the dogs and even our fishes! I have an Iphone.
I have put twitter and facebook on the phone. Folks I am taking my net addiction to a new level.
Like Shah Rukh Khan said in his speech in Om Shanti Om
1. He has the cutest boyish smile – and the twinkle in his eyes Oooooh! I normally go for the hot muscular bodies but something about the guy just works for me.
2. He is non-filmy and comes through as fairly grounded – even though he is this huge larger-than-life hero
3. He is a good father and a family man
4. Oh Did I mention his good looks? ~ never mind, it can be repeated
5. He’s versatile, like the papplu that makes the winning hand. You can pair him with any leading lady from Kajol and Shilpa to Anoushka and voila – you have a hit
6. You can watch him in brooding intense roles as the hockey coach of a woman’s team and it works, you can watch him as a shy dude or a cold and unscrupulous Don, it works
7. Oh did I mention the boyish dimpled smile – oh I did – never mind
8. He is from Delhi and that is nice
9. He proudly proclaims that he is a Joru Ka Gulam, that is so refreshing! He comes through as humane and normal. Either he is a damn good actor or is genuinely grounded and balanced.
10. But most of all I love him for the way he has refused to back down in face of the bully boy tactics of Raj Thackeray and his tribe.
I love his Badshahi Andaaz here
Article from Bollyspice
This is Shah Rukh Khan’s request to those threatening to stop the screening in India of his latest movie My Name is Khan releasing next week. At the London press conference on Wednesday, King Khan was quizzed about his stand and candidly spoke about it. “As a Hindi film hero who’s given an iconic status, it scares me to say anything. Our stakes are very high. I want to apologize to Karan Johar, Kajol and the MNIK team because what I say and believe is going to affect their work and I have no idea how to change that.”
His recent comments supporting Pakistani cricketers playing in India has cause right-wing organisation Shiv Sena to threaten the screening of his film in Mumbai. They have even burnt effigies of the actor as well as Aamir Khan who has the same stand.
In the past although his colleagues have apologised to Shiv Sainiks, Shah Rukh has a different approach to it. “I really don’t know what the issue is about and what do I need to apologise for. Am I supposed to retract to I’m an Indian but I don’t want anyone to come to my country?”
This incident has also affected Shah Rukh emotionally. “When a film releases, you are tensed but highly excited and I work for that excitement. But this time I am just sad and it is not jetlag.”
Amitabh and Jaya Bacchan apologised, Karan Johar apologised. I never understood why. But Shah Rukh took a stand! I truly love and respect him for this!
Remember the song in a movie called Kati Patang which went “Mera Naam Hai Shabnam”. Hmmm I thought Bindu looked hot and Asha Parekh seriously lost in the life and charisma department. However that is not what this blog post is about ….
It is a prayer of thanks to Godji for giving my folks enough grey matter to not name me Pinky, Tiny, Teetu, Pappu or whatever the eff Punjabi folk name their kids. Yesterday the car door got mended and the mechanic who did this was an obese and unkempt looking surd called Lovely
I am sure when he was a kid, growing up and committing parenticide must have featured hugely in his list of things to do. Why dont they have a system wherein the kid gets to have a say in what he/she is named?
We have auto rickshaws proclaiming Tiny Tey Dolly Di Gaddi . Tiny grows up to be 6 feet and huge, Dolly brought up on aloo paranthas and butter is nothing like a fragile doll. We also have the evergreen names i.e. Pappu, Pinky, Jolly and Teetu.
Teetu or Titu whatever has played an interesting role – like the proverbial joker, he slips into a few significant incidents to make the game.
I have a cousin who was not at all academic. Cousin V would threaten to commit suicide or run away if any one scolded him for failing or getting bad marks. I mean his threats were at times dangerous and at times wild and creative. So were his excuses. If he spent a fraction of that ingenuity in trying to clear his papers he could have been home free. But it would not have been fun.
Example : All kids washed and dressed for dinner with report cards in hand waiting for the signature of the parents. His turn came before ours since he was about 7 years older ….
Uncle solemnly enquired : Hor, Kiddan Kitta Paper ? (And how did you fare?)
Cousin V : Blurting out while handing his report card : Titu vi fail ho gaya. (Titu also failed!)
Uncle : Slightly distracted : Keda Titu? (Which Titu)
Cousin V : Pointing at the hapless cousin S next in line : Titu – the one who stays four houses away, this one’s particular friend (quickly snatching the next cousin’s report and thrusting that into his father’s hands and slinking away)
Well he went without dinner and the entire evening was spent discussing how to punish him and we got off easy.
God bless Titu and Cousin V
Some years ago, a few of us cousins with kids in tow went on a bus journey to Chandigarh. The bus stops for a longish while mid way where every one stretches their legs, visits the wash rooms etc.
One of my cousins’ wife had to nurse her baby and she went into a secluded rest room for that. This took a bit of time. The bus driver and conductor started getting restive. One of the kids was sent after the mother and baby duo
Ripe for mischief and in no mood to hearing the driver grumble, the rest of the gang started creating a huge noise
Titu Oyye
Titu Oyyye
Oyyye Kithey Gaya Titu????
Titu Oyyye!!
One of the co-passengers asked “Who is Titu?”
They happily lied – “He was sitting here, just started talking to him. We dont know him but he may have left his luggage here ….”
There was some tension as to unattended luggage that made the driver and conductor search the bus. It took 15 minutes in which other well wishers joined in
Titu Oyyye!
Soon we had the entire bus looking for the mythical Titu
Meanwhile the kids got the mother and infant duo back in the bus unnoticed. The cousins regretfully abandoned their search for the mythical Titu
The bus left for Chandigarh.
Well – now we simply charter a bus. Its way more simpler!
P.S. (This is a small adaptation of ideas I am working into a book that I am writing. Do you think such tales will sell? Need some feedback)
Of course in my own eyes I already am! But public opinion bhi maangta hai na!
Well if I were the Empress here is what would happen
1. Window Shopping would be classified as aerobic exercise. So would sex.
2. The entire globe would be wi-fi enabled and no one would pay for internet
3. The entire world would run on solar energy and people using fossil fuels and trying to make money out of selling essential stuff like food, water and power would be thrown in jail. I’d take them out of the dungeon on a day I was bored and have them try to kill each other. GO NINJA GO! (I would like to classify jeans, shoes, tees and sweaters as essential too, but kuch zyada ho jayega!)
4. Similar would be the fate of people trying to make money out of other people’s misfortunes like disease and death
5. But special treatment would be meted out to rapists, child abusers, people who are intolerant, people who are bestial and cruel and curb other’s religious and personal freedom. They would be put into padded cells in lunatic asylums in solitary confinement. I think they’re nuts anyway ….. They could wither away frothing in the mouth and talking to themselves.
6. I am getting increasingly disillusioned and angry with the recent Shiv Sena attack on Shah Rukh Khan over IPL. These bully boys have to be stopped. If I were Empress, those pricks from Shiv Sena would already be in solitary confinement where they could not spew their poison. The people from the media who are giving them a platform to spread their poison would be in dungeons awaiting their duel to death for my entertainment and the Govt would be sent to the hospital to be physically castrated. They are morally and spiritually eunuchs anyway, since they allow this nonsense to be replayed again and again.
Kid#1 is back home now. This, by our standards is huge! He’s been to Philippines and back quite a few times in his quest for a commercial pilot’s license. But then we are a family that goes from crisis to crisis – with a short pause in which we try to figure out if we are seriously out of trouble or not ….
Consider this : Kid#1 gets engaged …. runs the car over the verge and decides to fly planes …. since there are no verges in the sky!
Okay! That is completely mean of me. It may or may not have happened like this exactly but this is my story and my blog …
So he tries to get to Canada or the US to get his training. Terrorism and brown skin decide that he does not get a Visa. Hence he goes to Philippines
The course is supposedly for one year. The Global Warming and Divine Powers decide that the weather will be horrible. There are typhoons during the past two years that have drowned the country, ripped open the runway and tarmac and even smashed the air control tower to the ground.
Phew!
Hence the course that was to be for one year lasted two. But he survived and is now a qualified Licensed Commercial Pilot
Anyway he is finally back, jet lagged, deprived of Indian food (we actually carried roti and dal sabzi to the airport with us for him) and skinny.
I mean I am the most carefree kind of parent but even I thought he was skinny ~~
Is there any mother in the world who thinks her child has come back home looking hale and hearty? There is some kind of reflex circuitry which triggers a primitive response that is so Hindi Movie ….
Mom : Beta you are looking so starved – bechara! Theekh se khaana bhi nahin mila. Have another parantha ….
Son : Basking in maternal attention and pampering : Arrey vahan after the typhoon you could not get any fruit or vegetable, and there is nothing like ghar ki roti
Sibling : Perhaps thinking now the spotlight will have to be shared : Bhai, I dunno, you look okay to me
Wifey : By passing all the undercurrents : Babe, I think you look sexy with the moustache
Ahem! Okay I know you have been apart for the last four months but give it a break, Will Ya?
Come to think of it, I actually agree with her … he looked cute in a bearded Brad Pitt kind of a way
Aaaah! You know what I think now that he is got married and educated (in that order rather than the conventional way?)
I think its one down and one to go. Need the other one to get his degree and wife – in whichever order he wishes so that I can become a vagabond gypsy that I am at heart
One down one to go …. ….. ….. …..
Are you sure this is the right way?
Are you absolutely sure?
Your right way accuses my right way
Of being totally wrong
Are you sure that you speak the truth?
Are you absolutely sure?
Your truth accuses me of falsehood
Isn’t that the truth?
Are you sure your God is real?
Are you absolutely sure?
Your God calls my God names
And says he’s less Godly
Are you sure you are free?
Are you absolutely sure
Your freedom to speak, breathe and live
Bind so many others with fetters
Isnt what you think is for you right and free
Just another name for Tryranny?
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