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DO NOT COPY! I’LL BITE!
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No, this is not a movie review
Both the boys went yesterday to the Mall and brought me a gift … probably because they saw Singh is King without me, and then went ahead and saw Rock On without me, even though I whined, sulked and put them on a punishment diet which was totally vegetarian. I think a steady diet of beans, brinjals and cabbage brought them to their senses. So they got me a cd of the latest movies (yeah even though piracy is a dirty word, it has its plus points) and a copy of Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot, a delightful movie starring Sylvester Stallone and Estelle Getty … because the Mom reminds them of me. I guess I will forgive them and make them aloo meat – the sucker for flattery that I am.
We watched it last night – I am sorry Akshay and Farhan, you will have to wait. Its a movie I have seen earlier and loved it. The boys took me on a trip down memory lane “for my blog” they said grinning. Hmm, okay … I’ll put that one on my blog
At 11 years of age, Kid#1 was very bitter and angry. Angry because his Mom and Dad had split and his family was subject of a lot of gossip. Angry with his Dad for certain valid reasons. To channelise the anger, I had enrolled him into martial arts. He loved it and excelled. He’s naturally athletic and he developed a killer kick which punched a hole in our front door one summer.
One evening, I came home from work, to find a major commotion in the street involving my boys and some other kids of the colony and some parents. Oh shit! My first thought was that my babies have got hurt and I rushed into the crowd. One of Kid#1’s friends and Kid#2 quickly filled me up on the story. All the boys had been playing cricket in the park, when Kid#1 was (as usual) winning. A boy from the other team did not like it and a fight ensued. The other boy called my son Maddar…… and Kid#1 does not like any one ANY ONE dissing his mother. That is any one but him and sometimes his younger brother. He used his Tae Kwon Do moves on the disser, who went home bawling.
The bawler’s mother was screaming at the my boy, threatening him with dire consequences. Kid#1 was apologising and being very restrained. Before I could get into the act, the father of the other kid, who had just come home and not even dismounted from his scooter, revved it up and threatened to run over my kid. What happened next was instinctive. I saw the scooter coming at my son, and I just stepped forward and yanked the man by his collar off his scooter with a (in my irreverent spawns’ words) yell that would raise the dead. His scooter fell – and i threw him on it … the bugger was heavy.
Then I got carried away by my own Wonder Woman act, and shook a threatening fist at the mother-father duo and growled “Don’t you ever come near my kids and if I see that child of yours around them …..” and collected my kids in a huff and stomped away.
Very impressive, was it not? The only thing that spoiled the entire act was that I am 5′1″, was wearing jeans and a tee, and do not look my age.
I heard someone say while we were walking off “Is she is his mother? I thought she was his Didi”
My horrors were not impressed. As soon as we got into our own home, they broke into totally hysterical laughter.
Such is life …..
17 Responses to “Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot”
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RTFL way to go mom!! and aloo meat… i am drooling and weakening at the knees
The evil things – they know how to make me happy, I guess.
Yo Ritu! Sock it to ‘em!
I know, with all my 5′1″ might
Er… I’d better be careful with my word here
“words” sorry, typo
See – mighty me scared your typing abilities
Hwy I want aloo meat too
You are most welcome. I love to cook and feed
Girl, I am blogrolling ya. Can’t afford to miss another post of yours.
This one was crazy.
Honoured, Manpreet
[...] Sorry to burst your bubble! This is not a Main Bechari post, because its been great! It has dawned upon me bit by bit that the only essential thing one has to have to play any role in life is one’s own self. The rest is …. peripherals I guess. When I realized that I would be single Mom, I literally quaked in my shoes! My generation was brought up on the image of Durga Khote dressed in white toiling endlessly on a sewing machine, or Rakhee telling her tormentors “Mere Karan Arjun ayengey, zaroor ayengey!” In truth, the scenario is different. My sons would actually say “Stop or My Mom will Shoot!” [...]
Owww. It was funny I cant help laughing myself
LOL Winnie, is quite funny in retrospect
rofl!!this is hilarious!and woman you got guts!you rock!
Thank you dear! It has become a legend in our family, the kind that my kids love to tell their friends before they bring them to meet me
[...] Stop or My Mom Will Shoot [...]
OMG! You remind me of my Mom more and more! Didn’t know there were more like her!
I need to meet your mother. We shall conference, while you and my spawn cover under the bed
Way to go!!! Thats the kind of mom I would love to be
I know! I dont regret it one bit!
Reminds me of my ma!!! Tough as nails..
I do not have an option but to aspire to be like this. How can I after close to three decades of my mother?
Good job. good post. I am all happy in the morning. Will go call my mom now.
Awwww
Wow, you actually did that Ritu? I’m sure your boys were impressed (behind the sniggers)… I sure am!!!
Yeah I did that …. will do that again if I have to
I love your narrative style. This post is too good! Thanks for sharing.
And now, I shall go ask my mom for some aloo meat!
:0)
LOL! You do that Meera
[...] Stop ! or my mom will shoot [...]
Reading it again after hopping over from Tiku’s. Girl, you rock!
Thanks Shail!